Beheadings - Commentary and a Solution

Meet Eugene and Jack. They have no heads. Do you know what they did have? Jack Hensley had a 13 year old daughter. He had a loving wife. He had a high paying job to support his family. He had a birthday tomorrow... Eugene was 52. He had a loving family and a wife. But these two brave innocent men, who had the balls to work away from their families in Iraq to support them are dead. They're fucking dead. And they have no heads. What kind of people would do this?

These guys would. Now these guys are pretty afraid. They must be weak, since only weak people are afraid. They're so afraid that they're all in disguise while in the presence of a camera. They're also all holding fully automatic assault weapons. They must really be afraid of their hostage, Eugene Armstrong. Excluding the middle guy of course. His hands are tied up with the piece of paper he is reading from. I guess these guys are too mindless to speak on the spot. Which confuses me, since they're so devoted to their beliefs.

Anyways, I've established the fact that these 5 pieces of shit are big fucking weak, scared pussy boys. So in light of that fact, I had to give them all clever nicknames. Meet Pussy, Dick Lover, Shit Eater, Bitch Boy, and Mom Fucker. A lot of thought went into these nicknames. Really. These Cocksucking Five are going to kill a British hostage tomorrow. I'm going to wake up and no matter what news site I visit first, I'll see the headline there in bold. We'll see if I'm right.

But these The Cocksucking Five are not a group in and of themselves. Of course not. They're blind sheep. And who is their leader?

This is Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. He is Dick Lover. The middle guy. Man, what a fucking gay name. I swear, these fucking Islamic morons make up the gayest shit for names. If I was muslim, my name would be Abu bin Mattza al-Siikafuuk. That sounds kind of African, but it's still cool as shit. God damn, even if I was Islamic I would still be cool. That can't be said about many.

So here's the monkey leader. He's no Osama. He's not hidden with great secrecy. He's right there in Najaf. The whole Cocksucking Five is. So how do we deal with the problem of this man decapitating innocent Americans? It's quite simple...

There ya go. Drop... bombs... there. Why aren't the men in charge doing so? Do they care? What's going on? The public is outraged about this. The only thing that the other fucking monkey George Bush had to say was this. Come the fuck on, you weak bastard. Do something. Do something about this. Why is it so hard? What am I missing? Drop the bombs there. It's that fucking simple. Who gives a shit of innocents die. Better their innocents than ours. If you disagree, then you are a complete fucking idiot, and I'd like to cut off your fucking head.