My Balls, Candy, Fioricet, and Tajikistan
How are the headaches coming along? Well they're coming along pretty nicely. I finally said 'fuck the money' and went to a Dr. A few of them. Got me a nice big prescription of a drug called Fioricet. Sounds French doesn't it? It does in my head anyway. It's great. It my magic pill. Although, I think it has a small psychologic effect, as you're probably seeing now. Not as bad as Lortab or Percocet though. Hydrocodone will do that to ya though. So said the fox.
So, any new cool products you wanna discuss? As a matter of fact, yes. I tried this bad ass new candy bar. Nestle Toll House Candy Bars. They fucking rock my stinky black socks off nikkuh. Fah sho. Also, the new Skittles gum is fucking fantastico. Great stuff. Wal*mart has it. I really love Wal*Mart. There's a reason that they are the biggest retail corporation. It's because they REALLY do "Always" have the cheapest price for everything. I love it. It's legit.
Detroit sucks. Did you know that? I'll explain one day. Too lazy at the moment. I'm just babbling. It's quite fun. One time at Wal*Mart I found this 10 pack of Mini CD-R's for 4 bucks. They're pretty neat. I like Mini CD-Rs. They're the same size a Gamecube disk. Neat little buggers.
So I came across this really interesting website. It's called SickConcept.com. Hmm. I wonder what it's all about. Looks very mysterious and bad ass. It makes me wanna wet my boxer briefs. Speaking of which. What the fuck is wrong with boxer briefs, huh? My girlfriend gives me shit for wearing them, but I find them quite comfortable. They have the comfortability of tighty whities yet the coolness of boxers. They're snug on my balls and I happen to like that. I mean really, what the fuck is the point of wearing shorts underneath your... shorts. Or pants. Whatever. They bunch up and shit. That sucks. Boxer briefs give me the ball support I need. Because as everyone on the planet knows, Matt The muthafuckin Sick Posluszny has the hugest balls of all time. Excluding animals. I'm talking like, in my league. Also excluding those guys with Elephantiasis.
What exactly is Elephantiasis? Well, its basically a rare disorder, mostly common in shit hole places like Africa and fucking Tajikistan. A mosquito bites you, and sometimes they can basically inject you with certain types of fucking doom bringing parasitic worms such as Wuchereria Bancrofti or Brugia Malayi. I still to this day have no idea how to pronounce any of those 4 fucking words. Anywho, this fucking mosquito injects you with one of those biotches and they infect your lymphatic system. It then causes edema in the infected area, which then in turn causes massive swelling. The most common area of infection happens to be the male genitalia. Balls baby, balls. So, I am not in competition with those motherfuckers. It's just an unfair competition. Although, perhaps they deserve the title. But a someone on steroids can't compete in the Olympics so I see it in that light. I have the biggest balls of all time and I need boxer briefs to support them.
posted by Matt The Sick at 3:46:00 AM
2 Comments:
too bad you stole the big balls bit from maddox, who indeed does have the biggest balls, thief.
Who's Maddox? Anyway, I have no idea who this person is whom you're accusing me of stealing a 'bit' from. There are no 'bits' on this website. Would you please refer me to this 'bit' that I am supposedly copying.
It seems to me you're infatuated with this Maddox individual. Since you clearly want his balls. Whatever though. Assuming you're male; if that's your thing then fine but I don't wanna hear about it. Homo.
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