Pent Up Blogging

I have not blogged in a while. I have been extremely busy. I got a job. Fuck yeah. At Winn Dixie. The only reason I really got this job was because my brother is a manager at another Winn Dixie and used to work with both managers. So he put the good work in for me and I got hired. I'll tell a somewhat funny story on this subject.

My brother talks to the co-manager Jen. She tells him to tell me to go there on Sunday to see her. So I do. We talk, she does some shit on her computer and I have to take some test. That all goes well. She gives me a pre-employment drug test form, and I'm supposed to go to a place to get the test done.

I wake up on Monday, I take a shower, pick up my girlfriend Dalyce from school, and go to this medical place. The lady makes me wash my hands, gives me a cup, and sends me into the bathroom. I try pissing, but I can't. I go to turn the faucet on and it doesn't fucking work. I guess they disabled it so people can't dilute their piss. So I sit in there for about 20 minutes, trying to piss, and I'm just like 'Fuck this.'. So I come out, and I told the technician I was going to goto Checkers and get something to drink and eat and I'll be back in 30 minutes. I come back, still can't piss, and they're about to close. This sucks bad, so she tells me it's ok, and to go home. She also tells me to go get a new form from Winn Dixie. I'm like 'Fucccck'. I would look stupid as shit going in there saying 'Uhhh can I please have another form, I couldn't piss.'.

So Tuesday comes, and I wake up. I don't take a shower today and do my hair all pimp and nicely because I wasn't going anywhere to see anyone significant. Oh did I fuck up. That day, I decided to not take any of my piercings out. (Lebret and 2 in my ear) I was also wearing my black beanie and my Scarface shirt. The night before, I drank a lot of water. When I woke up, I had to piss badly. So anyways, I drive to Winn Dixie, I go in, in the attire I just described, and asked the lady at the customer service counter for a new pre employment drug test form. She looks confused, and walks into the manager's office. I'm called in. I'm like 'Shiiiiiiiit'. So I go in, and the other manager is in there. That was an OH SHIT moment. This guy takes a look at me, and starts asking me questions. Looking at me like I am Satan. He tells me that I needed to take the test within 24 hours of the form being given to me. He didn't care about my perfectly good excuse, and the fact that I didn't even know about the policy. He was being a pretty big dick to me, and told me to reapply in 90 days. So as you can imagine, I'm really fucking upset. Fuck that, I was pissed. I wanted to punch this guy in the fucking mouth for judging me. It was so clear he was bullshitting me. So anyways, I was supposed to come back the next day to see Jen. Wednesday. So tomorrow I would go back.

So I go there on Wednesday, looking pimp as the day is long. Totally prepped out. I go into the office. Jen begins to start filling some stuff out on the computer to get my application kit going. An application kit is basically a fuck load of CYA (cover your ass) forms. I tell her 'I think there's a problem...' I explain everything that happened the day before, and she is simply astonished. She didn't understand. She basically told me without telling me that he was full of shit. So she gave me another form, and told me to go back to the medical place the next day and to then come see her. She told me she got on at 4:00. That night, I drank lots and lots of water, and was prepared to do this again. Then at 5:30, I unexpectedly got a call from Dalyce. Due to some circumstances, she needed me to drive her to school. Oh didn't that suck. I was prepared to goto sleep at 6:00. I planned my water drinking all around that time. I was fucked. The whole time I was driving her I had to piss so bad. I got home at about 8:15, and went to sleep shortly after. 45 minutes later I woke up with a fucking splitting headache. It was so painful that it woke me up, which is very rare with me. I suspect the headache was caused by my extreme need to piss. My brain is bad ass though, it won't let me piss myself. I couldn't take it though. There was no god damn way I was going to be able to go back to sleep with this brain piercing headache and this cock smoldering need to piss. So, I did some quick Sick thinking. I took a half a piss then got to sleep. Good shit.

I wake up, and I goto Quest Diagnostics to take my piss test. I walked right up in there, did the same deal all over again, and pissed within seconds of trying. I was very happy. I stressed over it alot. I left there, with my little form for taking it. It was about 3:55 when I got out, so I decided to get lunch at McDonald's to pass some time, because I didn't want to go in there as soon as she got on. The McDonald's is in the same shopping center as Winn Dixie, so it was cool. I get done eating, and get in my car to take a very short drive over to Winn Dixie. As I am driving, I see Jen... getting IN to her car. I was like '...What the fuck'. Turns out, she said she was on untill 4:00. I must have misunderstood her, but I suspect she misspoke. I'm never wrong. >:O

So the next day is Friday. I decided to go there early this time. I leave my house at 10:30. I go in there, looking just as pimp as the day before, and I let the biatch at the customer service desk know I'm there. I'm called in. I walk in the office and both managers are there. I'm like 'Hmmm...' Amazingly, they start joking about how he blew me off and sent me away on Tuesday. This fucking guy admits to me that because of the way I was dressed, and the way I looked, he bullshitted me. And ya know what? That takes the cocksuckerness away. I admire that type of honestly. Alot. This is officially cool in my book. He was like 'You should have told me you were Mike's brother. If you would have, things would have probably gone a little differently'. It was cool. Nice guy once he knows you. So I got all those fucking papers that day, and I've yet to fill them out because I'm a lazy fuck. I need to return them on Wednesday. I start working on Thursday. It makes me nervous, but I'm hyped. I'll have money... Finally. There's my story.

The End.