Heavenly Rewards

I was looking through my local newspaper online. I'm looking for a new job because mine sucks. I'm tired of cheap bitches and I'm tired of work place politics and working for a psychopath with OCD. As I'm doing this, I come across this:

Accomplished Christian guitar and/or keyboard musician needed for contemporary Sunday worship. This is a VOLUNTEER position; heavenly rewards guaranteed. First United Methodist Church of Inverness (352) 726-2522

That is fucking hilarious. "Heavenly rewards guaranteed! They're basically saying they don't pay you shit but God will pay you with favors and answering your prayers. Yeah... Right. Bullshit. Fuckers. I hate these lying motherfucks. How can they look themselves in the mirror? I wish there was a law allowing me to bomb this church. When it was unoccupied of course.