I Hate You

Oh fuck yes. Hardee's has unveiled its new Monster Thickburger. First of all, Hardee's is fucking delicious. Their burgers are simply premium. No one has a better burger. Secondly, whoa! 1400-calorie burger! That's fucking awesome. With 107 grabs of fat too. That's good for skinny guys like me. Because I don't gain weight. I could eat 15 of those in a day and I wouldn't be an ounce heavier. It's quite strange. The only logical explanation is I have some sort of giant parasite worm inside my body.

Work has been pretty fun lately. Making pizzas is hard. You fuckers have no idea how much skill is involved in making your perfect 10 fucking *CENSORED* pizza. Jesus, it's a bitch. I don't even want to talk about the details because it hurts my fucking brain. All I know is that it's much more difficult than I thought it was. But I like challenges so it's right up my alley.

I wonder where that saying came from anyway. "Right up my alley." I think maybe it's some sort of bum jargon. Who knows. Speaking of alleys, when was the last fucking time anyone saw an alley? I don't know that I've ever seen one in my entire life. I guess it's a city thing. Man, the city must suck. It's when I get into deep thought like this that I am grateful to live in Beverly Hills, Florida.

You know, a lot of fucking people come to my website. On average, about 70 hits a day. However, yesterday I had 202. But with all you fucks coming to my site and reading my amazing words of wisdom, why do you not comment? Maybe I'm not saying things that are comment worthy. Or maybe people don't want to interact. Maybe they just want to read. Which is cool, I suppose.

To be sure, here are a few offensive statements:

I hate you crazy ass motherfucking evil democrat cocksuckers.
Michael Moore is a fat fuck. I wish somebody would just fucking shoot him right in the fucking mouth.
I hate fags. I hope you get cum in your eye you fucking queers. In fact, I hate all girly men. But on the flip side, I hate manly men. The football watching, beer drinking, pick-up truck driving cockboys who think they're so fucking hardcore because they watch a violent sport and drink beer. Fuck you. You're fucking dim.
I hate stupid whores who listen to stupid fucking music. You dumb emo bitches. Fuck Avril Lavigne. Fuck Ashlee Simpson, right in her stupid fucking mouth. I hope she gets fucking throat cancer. Right along with her slutty talentless lying cunt sister Jessica. And that fag Nick. What a fucking bitch boy. I swear to god, I'd give anything to punch him right in the god damn mouth.
I'm all burned out now. I had to let out a little rage. Hopefully that'll offend someone. If not, then I have one more thing to say. All guys are faggots and all girls are dirty whores.