I'm Deaf. Gimme Money.

This is absolutely fucking hilarious. I found this on the counter at work. Apparently, a deaf person had come in trying to sell a pen and didn't speak, just handed over this card. How fucked up can someone be?

First of all, I doubt they were deaf at all. Deaf people generally have a lot of dignity. They wouldn't stoop to this bullshit.

Besides, your sense of hearing is definitely the least important of the 5 senses. Deaf people very quickly learn to read lips. It's not that hard. Their biggest challenge is talking without sounding like a retard. And with plenty of modern day therapy, it's very conquerable.

There are just so many things wrong with this card. Why is the American flag there? What does that have to do with anything? It's as if they are saying 'Hey! I Love you and I love America! Gimme money!' Completely fucking asinine.

And of course, the whole 'Hang Ten, Dude/I Love You' sign tops it off. They love you, so because they love you, you should give them money. Right.

So apparently this person is selling a pen to support his or her family, and they want someone to 'kindly' buy it. I don't know what the pen looked like, but I can only imagine. But wait! Then the card rephrases itself. It asks not for you to buy a 10 cent pen for $3, but then it says donation: $3. And of course, it ends with a 'God Bless You'. I didn't see any goofy pens nearby, so I'm assuming no one bought the stupid fucking pen and gave the fuck any money.

However, I honestly believe this is quite a smart scheme. I have to give this person credit. It's a great way to 'earn' some extra money. It gave me a great idea, so I decided to make my own card.