George Carlin

On Friday the 13th, 2005, I got to see one of my true idols; George Carlin.

My two favorite men who have ever existed are George Carlin and Walt Disney. When I attended a private Korn show in New York City a few years ago, I didn't think I'd ever get to do anything cooler than that. I mean, it was a private show, at the Hammerstein Ballroom. Tickets were not sold, only given away for contests and whatnot. Only the hardcore were there. I got my tickets through a very nice person named Mish, who is in charge of many of Korn's online stuff. Back then, I had volunteered many many hours into moderating Korn's official palace server. I was very greatly rewarded, to say the least. That moment, and honor was amazing. Until Friday...

Somehow, my saint of a mother was able to get me two FRONT ROW tickets for this show. It was completely sold out, but somehow she got them for me and my best friend. Let me illustrate this

I turned around and snapped this picture with my camera phone. This shows just how many people were there, but I promise the picture doesn't quite do justice. This was before everyone had sat down. I mean... I turned around and I was in sheer amazement that I was sitting there... There were only 12 front row seats. I was in seat 6, which is dead fucking center. Literally. I mean DEAD center. I just couldn't believe it...

Can you believe that? Somehow I got this ticket... It was just such amazing luck, as if it was meant to happen. Heres a shot of exactly how close I was. I know the quality is horrible, but you see my foot, the stage, and the mic up top. My foot was probably two feet away from the stage. It was just... so surreal. I could see the sweat on his neck.

His performance was amazing. 95% of everything was new. I worship this man, and hearing all this new material was just the biggest honor of all time. I sat there, for over an hour watching him, and when I wasn't laughing my ass off, I was smiling. Do you know what it's like to smile for over an hour straight? It's indescribable really. I don't think anyone experienced George that night like I did.

And now I must bring up another issue. I wanted to snap one picture just to remember, because out of respect, I didn't want to photograph him when it was against the rules. That was his house that night, and I really didn't want to break a rule in his house but I just needed to have something to look at to remember. Well... that didn't turn out too well. Because honestly, the man wasn't photogenic. I mean look at that... I truly believe he may be God. Or maybe it was just that spotlight on him. Either way, he wasn't photogenic with my cellphone cam, but oh well. I was happy with this. And happy with the millions of facial expressions I have imprinted on my mind. And his words... When his November 5th, 2005 HBO special comes out, you will see less complaints, and more intelligence. He's almost like a funny version of Jesus. I mean... I don't know, you just have to see it. One of the best days of my life really. I wish my girlfriend could come, but it was 18 and over only.

Withstanding that, it was a really great thing that I'll never forget. Seeing your idol up front, dead center... I just don't know how it was possible. The show was sold out... and somehow my mom got these two front row tickets, and she paid regular price for them. They just showed up on ticketmaster. She had been searching for hours and they just popped up. I would have set in the balcony, in the very back row, and I would still be happy. But to be in the front row, in a position to see the sweat on his neck, and to see those amazing facial expressions with full clarity... It was the greatest honor I've had yet. I'm something beyond grateful.

All I can really do is shake my head in amazement, take a deep sigh, and smile. Beyond fortune.