You Can Die While I Laugh

The Bush administration always finds a way to stoop to a new low with me. I've seen a lot of despicable actions from their side of the fence, but we're at a new level. I'm talking about the Correspondent's Dinner.

It's a tradition in which the president (intentionally lowercased) gets together with the media to have a tuxedo-clad event in which everyone makes incredibly obnoxious jokes about each other, all the while pretending that they all think each other is great. It's always a hilariously fun night.

The problem I have with that, is that I am absolutely certain that there are thousands of our men in Iraq right now that would kill for even a bit of laughter. Who would kill just to have anything take their mind off their family for 5 minutes.

How fucking dare, that un-evolved chimp cunt smile in public. How dare he even attempt to make a single joke when we are in a state of (bullshit) war. Legitimate or not, right or wrong, regardless, we are fighting a war. Humor is absolutely fucking inappropriate. I don't care if the dinner benefits 100 dying puppies. Blow me, motherfuckers.

You have no moral right to have a little fucking get together so you can make little jokes about each other. Not when men and women are dying everyday because of YOUR poor fucking choices. It's proof of pure evil. No person, with a shred of honor or moral aptitude, could get on stage and make cute little jokes while our country is at war.

That disgusting slob Karl Rove needs to inform him that comedy is not allowed. There is only one single mood the president should be allowed to show in a time of war. Seriousness. A stick should be up his ass at all times, just as long as our soldiers have bullets flying at them at all times. Get it?

I haven't even mentioned the fact that the majority of Americans want our troops out now. This fucking man refuses to believe the truth. He refuses to see the truth. His legacy is in grave danger. Let me spill the beans for you, W. All the military power in the world cannot defeat a FEELING. We are at war with an offensive tactic. Terror is not a person or an army. Terror is a tactic used by people who hate us. Every day we're in Iraq, and with every civilian killed in Iraq, more people hate us. We're creating more terror, and I think that's factual at this point.

He's an absolutely evil man. The proof is in the dinner. Go do something that should cause you a lot of pain. It doesn't matter if it's right or wrong. It could be something as simple as spanking your kid. Even in a just and fair war, it would be impossible for a man of moral character to laugh about anything knowing the grave seriousness of his choices and course of action. George Bush is evil, but I think everyone knows that at this point.

We pretend like this WMD stuff was the reason for the war. We'll never know the reason for the war. There was a true reason. Maybe it will come out after the death of everyone in his administration. One day, the truth will be known. One day, we will find out the true reasons for this war and the true reasons why George W. Bush felt it was necessary to fight a 4 year long war on an offensive tactic of war.

The Choice of Gay: Have Faith

Last night while going to bed, I put on my local CW, formerly UPN channel and watched a man named Bill Keller host his show Live Prayer. He's a local guy on the local affiliate. He's a religious fucko who is pretty good at articulating his points. He is a born again Christian with a criminal past that involves fraud. It's highly offensive to me and I love to watch. It just pisses me off so good.

Last night he said something that a lot of other people have said and it really aggravated me. I lost sleep about it because I felt an extreme need to explain why he and everyone else who say this bullshit are completely wrong.

He was reading a Science article out of the St. Pete Times that described the developments in the study discovering gay genes, gay child determination before birth, and how it could possibly be fixed or altered. He bitched about it for 10 minutes and his hateful tirade ended with the ripping in half of the article.

He spent 10 minutes saying one highly offensive thing. "You are not born gay. It's a choice. There is no proof that people are born gay. It's an excuse for a sinful life being lead by Satan."

Now this guy isn't your standard insane screaming religious nut. He's somewhat intelligent, hence his prior fraud convictions. He's articulate and knows how to communicate a point well. This is why I get so pissed. A smart man who claims to be a Christian makes a lot of people suffer when he goes on these tirades.

Listen closely now, because I have his fucking proof. All you need is a clear mind and half a brain to understand. I once counseled a gay female friend who sat there crying uncontrollably after a bad day. She wished nothing more than to just be normal. She had boyfriends, and it just didn't work. If you're a guy, think about sucking a cock. Literally think about an erect penis down your throat. The way you feel when you think about that is the same way she felt. A pure and simple romantic disgust for men. Bottom fucking line.

Why would she fake? Why would she hate herself for being the way she is if she could simply turn off a fucking switch? Why would she willingly get made fun of her entire scholastic career if she could simply shut off the switch? Why would she willingly subject herself to the fucking lifetime of abuse that comes from cocksuckers like Bill Keller if she could just turn it off.

Can you turn your cocksucker switch on? If they can turn it on, surely we have the same ability. Let me try for a second here...

...No... No matter how hard I try. The romantic notion of a dude repulses me. I feel ill. Bad idea, Matt. I feel ill because I have no fucking sexual preference switch. I love women and their boobies and I can't control it. What makes anyone think that a gay man or woman can make a choice? Why would they ever subject themselves to the lifetime of fucking utter abuse from scumbags like Bill Keller if they could help it?

There's your proof, Bill Keller. You fucking hateful cunt. When people like you, especially ones with a fucking TV show go on these 10 minute hateful tirades, you bring a lot of pain to a lot of people. It's offensive and wrong. I am not a Christian, but I understand and respect Christian principles. Be the best person you can for God, and let him do the judging. Do not intentionally cause people pain. It's malicious and sadistic, especially coming from a fake preacher like Bill Keller.

So there is your scientific proof. It's human behavior, fucko. No human being would make a choice that doesn't involve a chemical of some kind, that would intentionally and deliberately create a lifetime of feelings that my friend had. Sure, there are many people who experiment or who are bi. That's different. We're talking about straight up 100% gays. They would not willingly torture themselves for life. They would not needlessly put themselves through this terribly difficult life that gays live if they had a choice. I've seen it. This is the proof of a gay gene.

We're animals. We're survivors. We are not going to intentionally create a life of pure hell. It would go against our survival instincts. We're going to do whatever we feel is right and normal for us. These are survival instincts. There doesn't need to be scientific proof to believe. You just need to believe in logic and reasoning. There is no scientific proof of a God, Satan, Jesus, or Heaven. But the majority of Americans still believe. You don't need proof.

You cannot say on one hand that you should have faith in a man in the sky, a little red evil thing with horns and a pitch fork, a man who is the son of the man in the sky and a place where everyone who has ever lived lives, and where unhappiness is an impossibility. And on the other say "Give me scientific proof that being attracted to the same sex, causing you to live an extremely difficult and miserable life, is a choice." This is irrational thinking. This is insane thinking.

If you can have faith in the existence of Jesus, a Holy Ghost, Heaven and Hell, and a being that controls everything, then I don't think it's a fucking stretch to believe that gay men and women do not choose to be gay. Choose to have faith in these people. They are born gay.

The News Sucks

I just don't care. All news is entertainment news. If it's not Anna Nicole's decaying corpse making headlines, then it's Britney and her fucking hair. I don't care.

Right now on CNN.com, the leading story with the big ass picture is about one of their anchors getting boyfucked by a priest. Then they have additional headlines. 4 of the 12 headlines are entertainment headlines. This isn't to mention the actual news stories that are written in an entertainment style.

Richard Jeni is dead, Danny Bonoduce is making fun of Rosie, Regis is having bypass surgery and Actor Fred Tompson is eying the White House. Who the fuck cares? Obviously a lot of people, and they are the ones who need to be punched in the face. Read the entertainment section and get this fucking shit off the main pages.

I just hate it all. I need a good reputable news site. I like to read straight AP stories but you usually have to pay for that. I can't find a decent inevasive website for straight AP. When I have the time, I will find my source.

I just hate it. Here I am, with the time and energy to write and there is no content. So I decide to bitch about the lack of content, but it just feels so unrewarding. So trivial. I think I'll just talk about myself.

I will be getting on the air in a DJ capacity soon. I'm on the air all the time with my amazing commerical works, but this will be different. I will finally have a chance to be Matt on the radio. I will finally be able to entertain the masses. I'm excited. I know my first few shows will blow, but I'll get better and son enough I will be in a position where I am making people laugh their asses off and piss their pants while they're driving. That's my real goal anyway. To make people piss their pants while they listen to me on the radio.

I'm working full time now at the radio station. Doing a lot of good work. Like I said, I voice a lot of commercials but I produce way more than I voice. I would say I produce around 80% of the commercials that air on both of our radio stations. I'm a creative guy, as you know. I do a lot of good work here. The best part is for 3 hours in the moring I get to sit as a desk, like I am now.

It's amazing. I am very lucky, but I got here with a ton of hard work. It wasn't long ago that I declared on this website that I was going to Radio school and getting into this amazing business. And now I'm here, in record time. The determination of a mad man. That's my secret, you know. It's not that I'm some God living amoungst the homosapians. It's not like I'm Jesus reborn. The secret is this: I am absolutely fucking insane, but I have a strangle hold on the insanity. And to control that shit is what gives me this freakish determination and drive. I'm very lucky.

I'll go one step further. I'll tell you the secret to my entire being. Imagine your ears, eyes, your taste, all of your senses as a receiver. A box-like receiver. Everything you hear, see, taste and feel go right through this receive and into your brain. Well my receiver isn't a rectangle. It's a fucked up cock-eyed crazy shaped box. So when all of this stuff goes through my receiver, it bounces around and enters my brain in a completely different way.

Then I talk about it, or write about it. You say "What the fuck?" or "I never though about it that way." It's good fun, all for the people. The people who read and listen to me. I'm an entertainer. That's all I want to do, and I believe I have to goods for it. I believe I have the natural ability to entertain, in one way or another.

I'm done talking about myself now I believe. I just wanted to babble about something and I think about myself enough to where I knew I had something to talk about. I hope some good news comes around soon. I need to learn to talk about things other than news. That's my real issue I believe. I need to be pissed off to write, and the happier I get the less motivated I get. I'm understanding now. Solutions developing.

Ann Coulter is a Faggot

Ann Coulter is the biggest cunt to have ever lived on earth. Not only is she an enormous cunt, but she's prejudice and hateful and the depths of my heart ache for whoever has to fuck her.

She called John Edwards a faggot. She refuses to apologize, claiming that the word "faggot" is simply a schoolyard insult for a wuss. She sounds exactly like the dozen rednecks who I've heard say "Nigger is just anyone who is ignorant, that's what a nigger is." Nigga please.

Let's not play fucking games. A nigger is a slur against blacks. Faggot is a slur against gays. Always has been and always will. When I was a youngling, to call someone a faggot on the playground meant they were a sissy and a wuss, that's correct. Then I grew up and realized it was a term used to insult people who are born into a life of suffering while being sexually attracted to their same sex.

So then around the age of this realization that the word "faggot" is a slur against people who spend a great deal of their life suffering due to their (uncontrollable) sexual preference. I stopped using the word "faggot" in that innocent recess type way. To be fair, if a homosexual did something to piss me off, I'd call him a "faggot". If a fat person pissed me off, I'd call them fat. These words should only be used properly and intentionally. You can't call a straight man a faggot.

So is this scarecrow looking cunt actually claiming to have the mindset of a 10 year old on the playground? Or is she really that big of a hateful scumbag? Of course she's hateful. She wouldn't squat over a flaming faggot and piss on him to save his life. Ann Coulter hates gays, and nothing would make her happier than to see every gay systematically rounded up and raped by women.

I would argue that her fucking her husband is gay sex anyway. All kidding aside, she really does look like a man. A sick aids victim. I've think I've got it. She's a self loathing homosexual. She is a man, who got AIDS for another gay man. Now she hates homosexuals and spends her days calling them faggots, for avenge her AIDS. It all makes sense. In my opinion, Ann Coulter appears to have AIDS. Allegedly contracted from fucking her husband's butt. It's true, in my opinion and in my opinion, Ann Coulter is a faggot. And a smelly cunt.