God Fucks With Family Reunion
From Sugarcreek, Pennsylvania comes the most hilarious story I have read in many days.A fucking lightning bolt struck a tree at a family reunion. It critically injured a 12 year old boy, knocking him unconscious, and also sent a full dozen people to the hospital. Wow! Talk about ironic. Wanna knock the punch line?
It happened when they were on their knees praying!
Yes, the article quotes one of the guests as saying "A lot of us were on our knees, praying." That's just too funny. I mean, of course it sucks that the 12 year old is in the hospital. But excluding that, I find it absolutely fucking hilarious that a dozen people had to goto the hospital because they were struck by lightning while they were praying? What kind of sick God would do this?
Larry Bell, who was also a guest said "God was showing his strength." What the fuck? God was showing his strength to the people who were on their knees worshipping him by... trying to kill them? What the fuck kind of logic is that? I can see if this happened during some sort of Satanic ritual. But come on, they were praying! I'd suspect that Mr. Larry Bell is absolutely insane.
But before that, he said They say lightning is rare, but this is very rare for lightning to come down on so many people and not kill anybody." Hilarious. So what is it? Did God show his strength by shooting down lightning, or did he show his strength by not letting everyone die? If that was the case, then why did he allow the boy to be critically injured? And what if we didn't have modern day medical treatment? Would everyone still live? This is all very confusing. Why do people always have to bring God into things and complicate them? They do this all the time. I just don't know what this guy means, but I'm going to assume he meant God was showing his strength by throwing lightning. The other instance just has no logic at all... Which is a good indicator that he actually did indeed mean it that way. It's a mystery. Just a funny little story I wanted to point out. The best part was they actually blamed it on God! (Maybe)
posted by Matt The Sick at 11:35:00 PM
5 Comments:
That was a good one, Matt. Still chuckling, reminded me of this:
~~~~~
There's this dude who want to go hunting, but doesn't get anyone for company, except a pastor.
Anyway, our man starts shooting, but keeps missing them. Each miss is accompanied by a vociferous shout "Missed the phucking b@stard", and growing louder with each snafu. The pastor is quite miffed by the whole action and warns the dude: "Buddy, if you ain't gonna take it easy, God's gonna get hoppin' mad".
And, sure enough, the skies start darkening and very soon there's lightning all over the place. Suddenly, a lightning bolt hits their area and, lo and behold, the pastor is fried to a crisp and, along with the rolling thunder, come the words:
"Missed the phucking b@stard"!
~~~~~
Dear Matt,
It was not God who did that.
Again, this family was praying with their lips, but their hearts were far from God.
There is a lot of rivalry and hatred + hypocrizy in this family.
God did not punish them. But because their hearts were separated from God, they became vulnerable to evil. The evil struck them.
I am sorry for them. I hope they would learn to love one another instead of hating one another or praying with hypocrisy.
Shastix
Haha. That's a good one. I can just picture it all in my head. Glad to see you're still reading and enjoying. I appreciate it.
Anthony
So you believe the devil struck them with the lightning? Very interesting. I didn't think of this. It could be possible. It's very weird how you know all of this stuff. But sometimes I forget that you have connections.
The boy died, that should give you bastards a thrill, and much to write your witty retoric bullshit about... Sometimes a fucken storm is just a storm and lightening is the energized activity due to temperature changes, and moisture that form the negative and positive charges in the clouds..... I learned that in the 2nd grade.... catch up fuktards
The kid died? That sucks. Maybe his family will see that no God would allow people praying to him to be struck by lightning.
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