Thanks!
My goal with this site was always solid growth. That's all I wanted... Was to have just a few more hits every month. In May of 2004 I had 143 hits. And now I'm up to 8,212. It's just amazing to me, and I hope to keep as many as you new readers as possible.
Here's the most amazing part to me. I thought that the day Joseph Duncan was caught, and the couple days after would be the the biggest days I would get and I started mentally preparing myself to see a big drop in readers. Well, every single day I get more and more hits. The day he was caught, the 2nd I had 638 page views. On the 8th, I had 2,141. I won't know yesterday's stats until later tonight. This is just so insane to me, and I'm really happy people are reading.
Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you to all of the new people checking out the site. I'm very grateful. Tonight, I should get back to my standard style of talking about good stories instead of telling my own.
posted by Matt The Sick at 5:01:00 PM
15 Comments:
Just noticed a trend that I'm interested in and curious to point out. Read 2 of your blogs and a handful of the responses along with them, and I'm curious as to your definition of the word "sick." I notice that you seem eager to label people as such, yet you give yourself the same title? If you're "sick" (as is spelled out by your self-imposed name), yet those with views which oppose your own are also automatically "sick", I'm inclined to think you don't know you mean by this word...
I feel so sorry for you, Matt. How did you get so angry? Truthfully, your entries, the few that I read, nearly bring me to tears -- not tears of offense or scorn for you, but tears for the life of freedom and forgiveness that you could so easily have if only you'd lay it down. He longs for you because you are His child who He loves and longs to know, regardless of what you could ever say or do.
And though I'm sure you'll have a field-day with this entry -- go ahead and bludgeon it like you have with the others -- I also want you to know that I vow never to return to your blog site. My name will never again be among those counted in your hits, so you may not want to spend energy responding to this.
Just the same, it's important to me that you know something... I forgive you for the statements you've made against Christians. I know you're not sorry -- that's okay -- but I forgive you just the same. Would you like to know why?? Because Jesus Christ died and bled and rose again for me -- to forgive me -- before my very creation. Before I was a Christian and before I was even sorry for the things I would go on to commit against Him.
Hey, I'm only 22 -- no older than you, really, so please don't think I'm talking down... We are part of the same generation, and we can either spur others for love and forgiveness or for pain and division... I have a love that's rooted in Jesus Christ -- you see, without Him, I'm really nothing worthwhile. And it's this love that I extend to you through the pain and the anger that's so apparent in these pages.
You hate me. That's okay; Jesus was never exactly voted most popular! He has nothing but grace to offer you, Matt, if you'll just lay it down and kneel before Him. I'm sorry on behalf of Christians who have offended and hurt you -- believe me, I've been there too -- but the point isn't to be like Christians, Matt. Don't look to Christians... look to Christ. He will never, never, never fail you.
I promise to pray for you this entire week. I find it a great joy and privilege to take your name before the Throne alongside my own -- for none of us is perfect. We are all subject to His grace that "passes understanding."
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." -Galatians 3:20-21
If you can look around the world and not be angry lady I feel sorry for you. pious and pompous attitudes are what pisses people off and drives them away from God. Do you really think you are going to lead him to salvation by this post full of "forgiveness"
I promise to stick little needles in a doll of you all week long. But wait that is hate right? Only you are allowed your expression I'm sure.
Funny Jesus sat and ate with sinners Mark 2:15, Luke 5:30.
But you wont come back here again. You're post has very little to do with love. You judge him, told him he was wrong and then chastised him and told him God loves him. Typical Christian double speak and the reason churches are empty for the most part except for child molesters and modern day Pharisees.
I am reminded of a line in a movie I like a lot.
Someone shut that cunt up before I come over there and fuck start her head.
Dear Matt,
I am glad that you have all these hits on your website. Do you see how many people love you?
You prayed that one day you might be heard and your cry has been heard.
God bless you my friend,
good night
Anthony (you know who I am)
I think I understand where Rebecca is coming from, but I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what she hopes to accomplish by her post. My response is very much in sync with James's. It's not up to the Christian to grant forgiveness. And while I'm not sure Rebecca MEANT it that way, it surely is comes across as arrogant to most of the world.
I wish Rebecca would return so I could ask her if she's Baptist. Not to typify Baptists, but she seems to have a similar attitude to the Baptists I know. Interesting.
The whole Anthony thing creeps me out FOR you, Matt. Good luck with all that.
"It's not up to the Christian to grant forgiveness. And while I'm not sure Rebecca MEANT it that way, it surely is comes across as arrogant to most of the world."
Lauren, allow me to clarify:
"I forgive you for the statements you've made against Christians. I know you're not sorry -- that's okay -- but I forgive you just the same."
I do believe that (if you have an ounce of reading comprehension)you'll find that Rachel did not say it was up to Christians to grant forgiveness, but your post surely do come across as ignorant to the rest of the world.
Just thought I'd clarify that.
Gee Rhonda that is very Christian like of you to call someone ignorant and imply that they don't have an ounce of reading comprehension.
Isn't that what Jesus did to Mary Magdalene? You surely are a shining example of what the world looks to in Christianity. BTW thanks for the drivel you left at my site as well.
I for one am offended you don't speak for the rest of the world. So please stop trying. You speak only for the religious fanatics so stick to ranting and showing yourself as a hypocrite.
I came here regularly to read anonymous comments, please don't delete them
Rebecca:
Sick: Different in a special sort of way. I guess. It's a way of embracing my views and thoughts and accepting myself for who I am. I won't be fake.
When I call others sick, it means "fucked up beyond explanation" Do you understand the contrasting meanings? I hope so. I know it might be a little hard.
Awww. You feel sorry for me. How condescending is that? Is this how you show compassion? Psst... There is no god. Anyways.
I'm tired of your condescending bullshit. You should be ashamed of yourself. You read a few entries, and they nearly brought you to tears? Probably because you were laughing so hard. Or maybe I opened up your eyes to some feelings you have about your own religion. That's what I think. You believe you're God's child, and all this stupid bullshit. I bet that's insulting to your mother, and I find it a dishonor to her actually. And therefor, you are breaking a commandment, and you'll be going to hell Rebecca. Better get in that confessional booth real fast.
I am having a field day, I really am. It's just so easy to fend this bullshit off. I'll bet my left testicle that you will come back to read, and I'll bet you will even tell a friend about the site.
Well, I'm sure glad you forgive me. You know, it was really bothering my conscience. I really felt terrible for making offensive statements towards Christians. And now that you have forgiven me, and can finally feel free and smile again. Thank you so much for your forgiveness, Rebecca.
Oh and by the way, I do not forgive you for being a Condescending Christian Cunt™. If the people who wrote the Bible weren't cavemen compared to us, they would have made condescending behavior a sin, and probably a commandment. I believe it.
James:
The only way she can look around the world and not be angry is if she has no soul and is a sheep. Does everybody remember the sheep story?
"Do you really think you are going to lead him to salvation by this post full of 'forgiveness'" She even said herself she didn't. Which begs the question, why exactly did she bother posting in the first place? I know why. It's because she was extremely bothered by my rhetoric and felt the need to do something, anything about it. She did it to make herself feel better. That's all. A real selfless Christian. Is selflessness even a Christian moral? If it isn't it should be.
This is why I live by my own moral code. I can't rely on others to tell me what's right and wrong. I need to do it for myself, and that's a big beef I have with any religion. The lack of individuality and the creation of sheep.
Hahaha, you're 3rd paragraph is hilarious. The whole thing. And you make an excellent point. Like I've said before. I believe Jesus Christ was a real person in history. I do believe it. I believe he was a very smart and wise man. But I believe he was a casualty of his time, when everyone was stupid enough to accept any explanation for their existence. Anyway, if this woman was a real Christian, she wouldn't have a problem reading my site. She reads it because it isn't a warm and fuzzy Christian approved form of entertainment. God forbid she actually agrees with me on anything. She might goto hell.
HAHAHA. "Someone shut that cunt up before I come over there and fuck start her head." Oh my god where did that come from? That is the funniest line I've heard in the longest time. Oh man, that was a good laugh.
Anthony:
You fucking scare me man. I'm not kidding. You fucking haunt my dreams, you're so creepy. I have these nightmares of a gay black angel hovering over me in my sleep who keeps telling me he loves me and he wants to give me a rim job, in the name of Christ. Then I wake up soaking wet from my own sweat and I have to take a Xanax. It's fucked up.
I haven't prayed since I was 14 years old. When I reached the age of reason. Maybe one day your age of reason will come up. You scare the shit out of me Anthony, but thank you for you comment and I appreciate you reading. Even though you terrorize me in my sleep.
Lauren:
She did come across as very arrogant, and she was being condescending. Why isn't that a sin? I'm still pissed off about that. She'll be back. She just won't post. And Yes, Anthony creeps me out too. If you've seen the other posts, you'll know that he likes to tell me he's my angel and he loves me. Thank you very much for the comment Lauren.
Rhonda:
I'll have to disagree. Lauren was just posing the possibility that she sounded like she was being arrogant but probably didn't mean to. She also suspected baptism. I don't think she meant any ill will at all. She was just trying to be a translator so to speak. She's a normal Christian worthy of much respect, and was just sort of translating her fanatic talk into reality, that I would understand a bit better,
James:
I'm not sure if she's Christian, although I haven't seen her comments on your blog. I've exchanged a few emails with her and she seemed to be an impartial philosopher, and didn't believe anything. Maybe I misinterpreted. I have a feeling I did.
I'm just not quite sure. I hope I wasn't misled. I won't judge until I see fanatic behavior, but perhaps you have James. I think Rhonda just misunderstood Lauren and jumped the gun a bit. I'll have to wait and see...
I guess she is rather religious. Her initial emails to me were very misleading. Oh well. Until she pisses me off directly, she's in the OK Christian group. But James, I can see why you would have some angst towards her because if anyone said what she said to you on your blog to me, I'd get pissed like I always do. It's the self-righteous, judging attitude that's so offensive to me.
Its from The Way of the Gun.
On my blog she came off as a judgmental bitch but I guess everyone can have a bad day.
I guess what really pissed me off was her being rude to Lauren who is a fellow Christian to her.
What made me think she was a nut was the things she posted on my blog which she states was entirely because of what I posted here. Again she felt the need to tell me for her own good, and thats basically what I told her there.
Good to see you survived the storm and your other issues.
OOPS. OK, I have concluded that there are two separate Rhonda's. Very confusing, I know. But this Rhonda just emailed me and it IS NOT the same Rhonda who I thought I was talking about. Glad we got that cleared up.
I haven't even read her email yet. It's extremely long, that's all I know. And you're right. She had no right to treat Lauren, a fellow Christian, like shit simply because she was trying to interpret what Rebecca was saying. I'm thinking she is a nut.
Yeah I survived the storm. I'm sure I'll get hit with one of them good this year. I didn't get it too bad last year, but I did get hit. I'm right on the Gulf Coast...
Congratulations Matt! Good to know that when you heard about that pedophile, you were thinking about about how it could help your blog. You must be proud to have benefitted from the murder and rape of children.
You should go to BlogAds.com and see if you could actually PROFIT from this tragedy.
I think a lot of people responding to this journal have forgotten what it is like to be 19. Perhaps they lost their passion and angst with age. Perhaps they never posessed it.
I did indeed find you through a journal that was created by what I would call a very disturbed (and not in a good way) creature. I was prepared to find you equally disturbed by the comments people at the other site posted to you. I did not.
You are young. Opinionated. Trying to fight your fight. What is wrong with that? So you don't believe in God. So you don't agree with the government. So you think the bible is less than the whole truth. So? Why does that threaten people? If we are not passionate people, what are we?
Okay... I will admit to understanding the concern over the whole boss issue. I do not agree with the way it was handled. I believe they did what they did because they know they dropped the ball with the other person and his blog. Now they are looking into every little thing and person connected to it and him. Trying to stop this horror from happening again. What is scary is that I have very angry things like that (minus the HIV comment) written in my personal paper journals at home. (I hate so and so. Death upon thee!) Nobody would ever care as I am extremely forgiving simply by nature. Still, my closest friends know I can be angry, disgusted, uncensored, cynical and raging when wronged. I am allowed those thoughts. So are you. I would never act on them, but in my journal, I will say whatever I want to.
The "Christians" will keep pushing their ideas and you will likely keep shooting them down. I guess they forgot how good it feel to be riled up by oposing views... wait, they are feeding on this arguement too. So everybody wins. See what a nice thing it is you've done. ;-)
I don't think you are like *him* and about to rape innocent children. Perhaps I am naive. I think you are 19. Full of passion. Full of fight. I am not 19, but I don't want to know what it is like to lose my passion and fight.
Anonymous:
That was a pretty low blow. To ask is one thing, and to accuse is another. I will tell you honestly that I read that piece of shit's blog, and in a rage I commented. I didn't even think about my blog. I was just so fucking irate that these Christian motherfuckers were supporting this guy and giving him hope and encouragement all while he was making psychotic statements and threats. I didn't even think about my website at all.
Since the site has blown up, I have thought about putting ads on it. But then I thought that would be selling out. I don't have a problem with capitalizing on the popularity of my site. Just because it came from a psychotic murderer's blog, it doesn't mean that I can't ever put ads on my site. For the mean time though. I just don't want to bastardize my site with ads.
Any profit made from my website would be profit made from my own writing. Not a tragedy. The tragedy brought people to a killer's blog, and the people saw my comment, and were interested and now then read my site.
So don't think I'm sort of capitalist pig who's willing to sell my dignity at any cost. I am not that person. And when I posted, my intentions were purely to lash out, not to promote my website.
StillThisGirl:
I'm very glad that you took the time and check me out instead of just labeling me an asshole and moving on.
You're exactly right. I'm opinionated, I'm fighting a fight, and I say what I think. People have a serious problem with this, though. If we weren't passionate people, we'd be passive and sheepish.
It is possible that they called because they knew they dropped the ball and made a mistake by not connecting the dots. I can accept that theory. Although, I still think it was more so my comments that than a threat I didn't make. I'm a very forgiving person too. And I'm glad you point it out, while this isn't exactly a journal, it is my soapbox to talk about the things I want to talk about. But don't get me wrong, just as much as I love writing what I feel, I love defending it. And yes, it is a very nice thing indeed. Thank you very much for the comment. I really appreciate it. And don't worry, I won't be losing my passion or my fire anytime soon.
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