I'm Frank Rich

Hi, I'm Frank Rich. I'm a fat disgusting slob and I molest girls. I enjoy masturbating to gay porn naked in my living room. I have fantasies of being an alter boy. Hehehe.

I also write a column for the New York Times. I usually just write about whatever I think is going to piss people off. I have no opinion really. My opinion is whatever the minority is. That way I piss off the majority, and they'll hopefully talk about it.

I hate Bill O'Reilly. I talk about him a lot, because a lot of people like him. I write about him as often as possible. In all actuality, I'm extremely jealous of him. That is my confession. I am jealous of his success. I'm just a columnist. That's all I am. I have a skill of annoying people, and I'm really proud of that but I really wish I was good enough to command the attention of 12 million people a night on a prime time TV show of my name. That would be really cool. That is why I hate O'Reilly so much. Because he has what I'll never have. And that is a successful career.