The Sick Rips Apart An Angry Comment

Someone just posted an absolutely hilarious comment in this post. Why they chose this post, I have no idea. It is definitely the most boring post I've made in weeks. It reads as follows:

This website is the gayest website in all of the world. I would like to say that if you EVER FUCKEN EVER COME TO POLK COUNTY, A.K.A. LAKELAND, WE'LL RIP YOUR FUCKEN HEAD OFF YOU FUCKEN FAGGOT. LAYOUT IS PRETTY GOOD BUT YOU... FUCKEN WASTE YOUR TIME ON THE INTERNET GO GET SOME PUSSY YOU FAT MOTHER FUCKER! FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR SHITTY WEBSITE! ALSO TELL THAT FRIEND OF YOURS HE IS GAY-> ECHELON. FUCKEN QUEERS -Saturn

I started laughing hysterically when I read this. Let me go through this to make my official reply to this douche bag.

This website is the gayest website in all of the world.
Gayest website in all of the world? I think he meant greatest side in all of the world. Or maybe the most hardcore blog of all time.

I would like to say that if you EVER FUCKEN EVER COME TO POLK COUNTY, A.K.A. LAKELAND, WE'LL RIP YOUR FUCKEN HEAD OFF YOU FUCKEN FAGGOT.
Oh yes, online threats. I love it. Well allow me to say this publically. I work at *CENSORED* located in *CENSORED*, Florida. That is 30-40 minutes from me. So, I don't even know who "we" is, perhaps his "boyz", but if you'd like to attempt to "rip my fucken head off" then you may attempt to at any time. I would gladly and promptly clock out and show you the beating of a life time.

LAYOUT IS PRETTY GOOD BUT YOU...
Why thank you. I have the gayest website ever apparently, but the website is "pretty" good. I think this is slang for "Your website fucking owns my asshole." FUCKEN WASTE YOUR TIME ON THE INTERNET GO GET SOME PUSSY YOU FAT MOTHER FUCKER!
This is straight up fucking ignorance. Obviously this dumb motherfucker knows absolutely nothing about me. I spend quite a lot of time on the internet. I guess that's wasting my time... just like he is by being online... and reading my blog... and commenting. And I'm certainly not fat at all. If being 6'1 and 135 pounds is fat, then 90% of America is absolutely fucking obese. I'm nowhere near fat. I'd be considered "skinny". What an ignorant fucking moron.

FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR SHITTY WEBSITE!
Now my website is shitty? So wait... My website is the gayest in the world, but it has a pretty good layout, but it's still shitty? What an incoherent motherfucker. It's obvious he's incredibly jealous of the greatest blog of all time.

ALSO TELL THAT FRIEND OF YOURS HE IS GAY-> ECHELON. FUCKEN QUEERS Saturn
He's referring to one of my good friends dC aka Chris aka Pher aka Echelon. Chris owns and runs a great software company called BHLabs. In my early days, back in 2000 I worked for the company (for free) doing miscellanious tasks and helping out with little things. It was a good time. Apparently this was written by a faggot named Saturn, who actually was the co-founder of BHLabs. He tried to make a competing palace client but it failed miserably. He sucks. He some pathetic geeky motherfucker who used to tell people he lives in Australia. I suspect it wasn't really him who wrote this, as I've spoken to him before and he is not this immature.

I suspect it's someone trying to start shit. Probably a gay bastard from Korn's official palace named Snoopy. He's a homosexual (really) wigger who tries to be cool. He reads my site and tries to mark out to me on AIM and tells me how awesome I am and I either say "I fucking hate you", "You're gay, go suck some dicks", or I ignore him altogether. Either wait, whoever wrote this... Thanks for the good laugh it gave me and thank you for making such great content for my site! And I definitely encourage you to visit me at work.