I'm Tired Of Being Fucked

It's time for a little story telling here on TheSick.net. Sometimes in life, bad things happen and you have to do something to get it out. Wether it be throwing a large glass vase against a wall or something more constructive, like writing.

The enemy of the day are these motherfuckers: The Crystal River Police Department. Now, let me explain. You see, I live in a very small county. One of the smallest in central Florida. Citrus County's population is 130,465. The city of Tampa has 321,772 people, just to put that into perspective.

Now, I want to preface this by saying that the County Sheriff's department is great. I get pulled over a lot, and I've dealt with a very large number of cops. 9 times out of 10, I am treated fantastically by these people. They are a well-run bunch and they generally will always give you the benefit of the doubt. Case and point: One time I had my car searched and I had totally forgot that there was an unopened bottle of some Smirnoff shit in the trunk. It had been there for months, and I don't even remember how it got there seeing as I don't drink. The cop found this, and just took it. No jail, no ticket, no warning. In fact, he even said "I was 19 once too." I guess he didn't believe that it wasn't mine, but regardless he was cool. This represents the general attitute of the Citrus County Sheriff's Department.

This is the Law Enforcement Agency responsible for policing this county. However, the motherfuckers from my story get to police their little shitty fucking town. Now let me ask you this: Why would a city need their own police department? The number one answer would be population. So, seeing that the county's population is 130,465, what do you think the population of this city is? Must be big to warrant it's very own little police department. 3,604 That's fucking it. I've stood in a club watching bands with this many people.

So let me ask this question again. Why would a city with a population of 3,604 need its own police department? The answer is simple; Revenue Raising. I am convinced of this fact. I've been pulled over at least a dozen times in the past 2 years. Maybe even more. (A lot of those were for a bad tag light that I still haven't replaced since I was first pulled over for it over a year ago) Out of all these traffic stops, I've received three tickets.

One given by the biggest douche bag ever, who is a county cop. This guy is a piece of shit, I called him a piece of shit, and we've had a long running feud ever since his fucking "Drug Sniffing" dog "alerted" to a loaner car I was driving which had less than 1000 miles on it. When he found nothing, I decided it was a good idea to question the competency of this stupid fucking dog. He didn't like that.

Then he pulled me over again a few months later, and we again got into it. I sat there defining the word "search", and politely explained to him that he was violating my right to be free from a search of my personal property, and by him walking his stupid fucking dog around my car, he would be searching it. He disagreed, saying that the dog was searching the air around my car, and that I did not own the air. I told him that was absurd and ridiculous and I asked him if he ever read the Constitution. I also reminded him that he did indeed take an oath to uphold it at all times. He threatened to write me a ticket for my tag for questioning him (they love to do this). I had to retreat and go into polite mode. Let me add that he pulled me over when I parked in my driveway.

Then about three months ago, this very same cocksucker, who likes to hang out around my house apparently, pulled me over again. This time, he pulled me over as I was pulling onto my street. I decided to keep driving and to park on my property so I couldn't be fucked with. It takes about 5 seconds driving to get from the end of my road to my house. He really didn't like this. I rolled down my window and he starts bitching that I didn't stop when he put his lights on. I explained I didn't want to park in the middle of my road. He then bent over so I could see his face and my exact words were "Oh it's you." I knew I was fucked. Apparently, he pulled me over for speeding. Going 30 in a 25 is what the warning said.

But that's not the end of this one. I almost got tasered. Yes, you read that right. This motherfucking scumbag just didn't understand that you can't fuck with someone who loves the Constitution on his own property. He asked for my proof of insurance and I informed him that it was in the house. This was a month after I bought my Tiburon new and the registration had just came in the mail 2-3 days before. I explained this to him. He told me he was writing me a ticket for it. I said "Fuck no you aren't." as he was walking away, and proceeded to exit my vehicle on my personal property. This really got him mad. He began to scream and yell, and demand I get back into my car. I told him I was going to get my proof of insurance. He was reaching for the taser and I immediately said "Fuck that" and scurried right back into my car.

In a rage now, I call my Mom and tell her to bring out my insurance card. She gives it to me, and I proceed to roll the card up in the window so it's right there waiting for Officer Douche Bag. I then immediately call his supervisor while he's writing me a ticket as I inform him of the situation. I politely explain that he pulled me over at my house, and that he's writing me a ticket for no proof of insurance, and I now have the insurance card rolled up in the window waiting for him. I also explained how he refused to let me exit my vehicle and he is illegally detaining me on my own property. Supervisor cockboy took Douche Bag's side, of course. I asked this fucking imbecile to cite the statute that permits this motherfucker to detain me on my property. His exact response was "I don't have that information right here in front of me." I say "WHAT?! You're a supervisor, you know this cop isn't violating my Constitutional rights, yet you don't know the statute that permits him to skirt these very rights?" I call him a pathetic fuck and hang up on him. Fuck him, he was useless.

Cocksucker came back, and refused to accept my proof of insurance. I almost attacked him, I was so angry. I actually told him "I need to get the fuck away from you right now." See, I'm a conscious psychopath. By the way, he didn't know the statute that permitted him to illegally detain me on my property either. That's fine, motherfucker. I got the shit dropped.

So, that was the one and only ticket I ever received from the County cops. The good guys. But this story isn't about the good guys. You see, it's about the CRPD. These pathetic band of retards. They have written me two obscenely unfair, immoral, unjust, and straight up fucked up tickets. Over a dozen times I've been pulled over, and the only two to a) treat me like shit and b)find a reason to write me a ticket were officers of his stupid fucking police department, if you can even call it that. It's more like a group of fat, obese, drug abusing pathetic fucks who aren't good enough to work for the Sheriff of the county. Fucking low life cocksuckers.

Let's get into story 2 here. I was driving in a 55, and the speed limit drops to 45. Then a bit down the road, the speed limit drops to 30. There is no reduced speed limit sign. Less than 25 feet from the speed limit sign, this piece of shit is sitting there waiting to catch drivers off guard, not expecting a fucking 15 mph drop that comes out of nowhere. I was working at the time, and this piece of shit, who had a minor case of meth mouth (seriously, in my opinion from the research and study I've done) says to me "So let me ask you... Do they (my pizza place) pay for your speeding tickets?" He said this was such arrogance, it made me want to vomit all over him. I informed him that he was about 2 feet from the sign and there was no way I could safely slow down that fast. He told me I was going 41 in a 30. He seemed to be ok, but then he quickly went into douche bag mode.

He comes back with a ticket for me to sign. He informs me that instead of writing me a ticket for speeding, he was writing me a ticket for obstructing a traffic control device. They give this one for running red lights, cutting through gas stations to avoid lights, etc. I then inform him that this was a speed trap, and judges generally don't take kindly to those methods of catching speeders. One of his fellow retards were driving with his lights on, so Officer Meth Mouth quickly bailed to follow him. I was irate, yet extremely confident I'd get it thrown out.

I take Officer Meth Mouth to court. I am so prepared and smooth, it's almost shocking. I had over 25 pictures of the scene. I had video. I had mapped diagrams. I made it so the judge could literally be where I was and where Officer Meth Mouth was when he pulled me over. Not to mention the fact that I was the absolute best dressed person in court that day, by leaps and bounds. Now, this is where I get fucked. This fucking absolute piece of shit ruins my whole case with one blatant lie. He tells the Judge, who is also a fucking rude idiot, that his radar clocked me at 50 in a 30. This completely fucked my case. My whole point was that I was in the middle of slowing down while driving the legal speed limit when Meth Mouth pulled me over, and I would have safely reached that speed if he wasn't sitting there waiting to catch a speeder.

My quick thinking jumped in, and I quickly asked Meth Mouth if he had radar logs (yes there is such a thing) from this day. He told the judge he did not have them with him at this time. Let me also note here that Meth Mouth showed up 5 minutes late, and every other officer in court that day was there even before me, and I was 20 minutes early. So with that said, this pathetic fucking traffic Judge, in our small little county, who thinks he's an important motherfucker because he's wearing a three piece suit in this shit hole we call home, believes him over me and I'm guilty, plus court costs. Now my $115 ticket is a $200 ticket. I almost lost it. I really did.

On the way out, I took the photo that best illustrated how close this piece of shit Meth Mouth was, and wrote "Horrible fucking decision, douche bag." on it. I placed it, very strategically so it would be noticed, right in the main elevator. This might not have been a good idea, as we'll see later.

Now we move on to story 3 of 3. I have to preface this story also, and this applies to the previous story. I pick and choose which driving laws I want to follow. I rarely do the speed limit. I drive at whatever speed I feel is safe for the current road conditions. I don't drive recklessly, I just adjust my speed according to the situation. This is an intellectual decision I make every time I'm on the road. Most times in the day, I do drive the speed limit. However, at 2 am on the way home from my girlfriends, when there isn't a car on the road, I have absolutely no problem going 80 in a 55. I drive a fast car with fantastic performance, not to mention the fact that I've been a professional driver for two years. I know what I'm doing.

But my basic point is this: I do safely break traffic laws all day long and I don't give a shit. I took out an $18,000 loan for a reason. I wanted my fast dream car to have fun in, and that I do. Safely, of course. But, all of this goes right out the door when I'm working. When I'm driving at work, I am a completely different driver. I do everything precisely by the book, I'm in no hurry, I seek no thrills. I just want to do my job and go home. That's the preface. When I'm driving the Tiburon, I speed constantly, and generally don't give a shit about traffic laws. When I'm working, I drive just like Grandma Doris. I'm in no hurry, I don't care how fast I'm driving in either lane, and everything I do is slow, safe, and careful. We'll get back to this point after the story.

So two days ago, I'm working. A CRPD cop is in front of me. He's driving under the speed limit on a two lane highway so I change lanes and I eventually slowly pass him. I'm approaching a light and it turns yellow. I drive through it. Then about 30 seconds later, the douche bag pulled me over. I actually said to myself in the car "Fucking tag lights." I knew this motherfucking CRPD piece of shit was going to be the first cocksucker out of like 6 cops to give me a ticket for it.

He walks up to my car and asks me if I knew why he pulled me over. I'm honest and polite with cops, so I confidently say "Yeah, the tag light." He then rudely, loudly, and quickly replies with with "How about running that red light?" Just as quickly as he fired back, and just as loud, I fired back with "You mean running that yellow light?" He tells me it was red. I tell him he is mistaken, and it was yellow during my entire field of vision of the light. I told him I never even saw the color red coming from that light and he's mistaken. He then tells me my exhaust is illegal. I lose my composure here and I say "Well you can write me a ticket for it because I will never acknowledge it being illegal and the government has no right to tell me that I can't upgrade my car's performance. If they want that right, they can buy me my next car instead." That fucking law makes me irate. What if I made it illegal to plant gardens? Fuck off.

So Officer Blind Fuck, as I like to call him, decides it's a good idea to start accusing me. It asks me if I've been drinking. He also asks me if I've taken any drugs. My reply to both answers was "I'm working." I'm fucking sitting there with my uniform on and the fucking company logo is all over the bags sitting right next to me. The stupid piece of shit says my eyes look glossy. I then say "They look glossy because they have contacts on them." I just give him this stupid look. A drunk pizza guy? This is the sort of sub-par undereducated douche bags I have to deal with.

He returns to his car to check all my info, then comes back with a nice white ticket for me to sign. He tells me he's writing me a ticket for running a red light, and I told him I'd see him in Inverness (where the courthouse is). He then hands me the ticket along with an envelope that explains how to get the points off my license and some form for driving school. He hands me both of them, and when I turn the ticket around and see $180, I fucking lose it. I throw both of them right at the other window and say "Fucking. Bullshit." He gets real pissed now. This is where he plays his little fucking threatening card. The "Treat me nice or I'll write you more tickets and abuse my power" card. They love this. He threatens to write me a ticket for my tag light, my exhaust system, my cracked license, and anything else he can find. His words, not mine.

So that's that. I don't even know how to plead on this one, considering my "Horrible fucking decision, douche bag." note. Maybe it didn't get back to the Judge, but I don't know if I want to chance it. It's a shitty situation. The fucked up part is this: They never, ever catch me when I really am doing something wrong. I'm always speeding, and I never get caught. I always get fucked when I'm just driving, making a conscious effort to obey every single law. And it's always these scumbag CRPD cops. It's blatant and obvious revenue raising tactics. The city of Crystal River gets a big chunk of tickets their officers write, and that money is in turn used to do stupid pointless things that get little low level faggoty nobody politicians reelected. It's a pathetic farce of a police department, and I keep getting fucked because I have to work there.

My little town has a population of 8,317. We have no police department. We don't even have a McDonalds. Where's my police department? We don't have one of course, because there is no local government here. There's no city council and there's no mayor. Even though we have nearly three times the population. Makes a lot of sense, right?

Eventually, this police department will be gone. Just like the other city cops in this county, in Inverness. They wrote me my very first ticket as a young lad. Now they are no more. Once the drug element is out of Crystal River, it'll be done for. They will be useless faggots collecting a pension, if they even get one. Fucking low levels faggots. All you have to do is look at their cute little staff page. They have a total of 13 cops. We have more pizza drivers at my work than they do cops. That's how fucking pathetic they are. Obese motherfuckers, some kid who looks like he just turned 18, and of course the two degenerates. Pathetic. I wonder why they couldn't get a job with the County? I wonder what's wrong with their records.

I'll figure it out one day. I'll expose this shit eventually. I'm fucking tired of it. I'm tired of my income being held hostage and being fucked with by dumb lying motherfuckers. Liars. Meth Mouth blatantly lied in a court of law and Blind Fuck's intentions are not known yet. He either made an honest mistake or he's engaging in shady practices. What I do know is this: I legally drove through a yellow fucking light. No question about it. I know it like I know I have balls, OK? There's just no doubt. So with that said, why would he write me this massive ticket? The only answer there is to this question says it all, and I'll prove it eventually.

Well, it felt good to let that out. Hopefully you don't have douche bag city cops like I have, and hopefully I will get this ticket written by a dumb blind motherfucker dropped. I never know with the Judge though. He believed that lying meth smoking cocksucker, so he probably will believe this Blind Fuck with the huge glasses.

The fact of the matter is this; In any county, the Sheriff and his deputy set the standard. When one city's police department operates so obviously and embarrassingly below those standards, or even the standard of reason for that matter, we know something just isn't right. People's fucking incomes are at stake here. I only make 1300 a month. What if I lived on my own? What if I was living paycheck to paycheck? What if I had a kid? What if I had more than one kid? What if I had a family to support? Being robbed by these pieces of shit is fine, because they're only fucking me out of money. I don't need to put food on the table, I don't need to pay my mortgage. I pay for my car, and that's it.

That's just me though. What about everyone else they're stopping and fucking? Do they ever write warnings? To do what was done to me one week before Christmas is flat out fucking cruel. Did he even consider that pretty much everyone spends most of their money in this one fucking week? Did he even say to himself, "You know, he might have made that light. It was really too close for me to call since I was so far away. It's the last week before Christmas, and this kid is out here working and earning money so he can buy things for the people he cares about. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a warning."

Of fucking course not. Only a sub-human wouldn't think that very same thing. It's reasonable. Why is a sub-human individual allowed law enforcement powers? My guess is that is the very reason why he isn't employed with you know, the fucking Sheriff's Department. He is by all accounts a minor league cop. This agency only employees the Sheriff's rejects. Who would want to work for a department that only has three patrol vehicles when you can be employed by the county and actually get to bring your very own cop car home every night. Every one I've dealt with is a sub-human reject. I fucking know meth mouth when I see it, and Officer Meth Mouth had it. It's just pathetic, and I cannot wait for the complete failure and collapse of these band of retards. Pretentious pieces of shit.