Gold Digging Old Man Fucker

What a waste. Anna Nicole Smith; young, beautiful, successful, big titties... All a big fucking waste. Not her life, or the motherhood of her new daughter that she lost, or her successful career, but the fucking TV time she's occupied. It's true. The absolute biggest waste of media coverage and TV time ever. She held this title firmly before she decided it was time to end her miserable fucking existence on this planet. I'm not even including this current coverage.

I'll lay it out in a simple well constructed manner so that even the dumbest of my readers will be able to comprehend this.

Anna Nicole Smith:

Stripper, probably blew guys for extra cash, had no dignity or self respect

Married a 90 year old dude, who died about a month later, and then took most of the money, or what was left of it after the fight to get it.

Name changer. She completely changed her name from Vickie Lynn Hogan, which is way cuter and marketable in my opinion. What a fucking dummy.

Marilyn Monroe obsessed wannabe

PETA supporter

Spokeswoman for fraudulent weight-loss company, currently being sued and fined by Federal Government

Poorly and despicably raised her son to be a drug addict, who inevitably overdosed on methadone.

Had a baby in her last year, whom she has no clue who the father is because she is a dirty whore

Her body can't even be buried for nearly two weeks because of the paternity suit that is ongoing.

And lastly, she killed herself in Hollywood, Florida yesterday. The official cause of death hasn't been released, but we know there were large amounts of prescription drugs in the room. We know she didn't die in a freak accident, that's for sure.

Anna Nicole Smith is a fucking waste. She made so much news because she is a train wreck. She is infamous, by all meaning of the word. She is not known for anything good. She's famous because she showed her big fake titties in Playboy, she is obsessed with being completely intoxicated anywhere she can been seen on TV, and she is a gold digging whore.

In fact, the phrase "gold-digger" was made popular because of her. Shit, it might have even been created because of her manipulative old-man-fucking ways. That's right. She's a repulsive old-man-fucker and her death solidifies the fact that after the press coverage dies down, I will not have to hear about her no-news ever again. I will not have to be annoyed or frustrated about the coverage of her pathetic existence. Thank you Anna Nicole/Vickie Lynn for your successful contribution to the betterment of my life. And thank you for the exciting news coverage you have brought me on this day. I look forward to never hearing or seeing your obnoxious fat face again.

And lastly, I thank you for this hilarious image. I laughed so incredibly hard, causing my face to get so incredibly red that my girlfriend almost thought I was dying. The ole body-on-the-stretcher media shot, except it has GIANT TITS. I've never seen such a curvy big titted hilarious body bag photo before. I find it hilarious, and I know you do too.